The next day, when I logged in I had ten email messages in my inbox. All were introductions from guys my age. A couple of them even looked interesting, so I replied to them and sent my regrets to the rest. From that point on I was on the site multiple times a day interacting with a lot of different men. It was pretty heady. A lot of them were pretty oafish, but I just blocked them so they could not talk to me anymore. What a great feature that is! As I got further into it, I decided that there were a few guys that I wanted to meet in person. Chatting and emailing online is one thing, but you need to meet to know if there is any real chemistry between you. I used a restaurant a few blocks from where I worked as my rendezvous. That way I felt safe and that I would have control of the situation. It was exciting, but it was exhausting. Learning so much information about so many people and keeping it all straight in your head is tough work.But I forced myself to stick it out. I started questioning if I could keep up the pace, but I was determined not to spend much more of my life by myself, so I kept at it.
I felt most comfortable in my life being part of a long term relationship. I thrived on that and really wanted to find someone to have in my life again. In all my conversations with various men, one person seemed to be in my thoughts more often than most. He had a way of wording things in his emails that I found refreshing from the rest of the men. He was concise, yet managed to be articulate at the same time. It showed that he thought about what he wrote about before committing it to words. So much better than the random blathering that I got from most other people. It even showed in his profile which left me with the impression that he was someone well educated, who was not ego centric. He said that he believed in equality for women and that he was in touch with his feminine side. My first instinct was that he was gay and just pulling my leg, but I later realized that hew was the genuine article. He was just a very empathic person who cared about everybody. He could not stand that fact that some people treated women like second class citizens. In fact, he took it as a personal affront. He stated that he had worked in Europe for quite a few years, but had recently been transferred to the home office in our city.
We both loved winter sports, and since I had traveled to Europe more than a few times, we had a lot to talk about. His profile had no picture on it, so at no point in our early interactions was I chasing a pretty face. It was his communication ability and points of view that won my respect. When he later emailed me a picture of himself, I was not disappointed. I didn’t want him to call me. I thought that would be giving out too much information. As a compromise, I informed him through an e-mail that I would call him. At first I was too nervous to call him after he gave me his number. But after reflecting on the silliness of it all, I finally got up the gumption to call. It changed my life.
He turned out to be an incredibly sweet and charming guy. Always a gentleman. We had made plans to meet at a small restaurant that we both knew about. I guess we each wanted to be on a comfortable footing. In any event, like always, I was early, so I just settled in for the wait. I was still concerned that I might be disappointed, or worse yet, that we just had no spark. As I looked towards the door, in walked this gorgeous hunk of a man. He had black hair with just a touch of grey, he just stood there looking for me for a minute then came over and sat down. I was in complete awe. We talked and laughed and shared some personal stories. Time was streaming by but I could not stop it. I did not want it to have to end. The meal would not last long enough for me. I was having too good a time. We left after he paid the bill. I noticed that he left a nice tip as well. He kissed me when we got to my house. As he drove away, I sighed. Everything was just too good to be true. The chemistry for me had been instantaneous. I already knew that he was the one.
Each date we had after that one seemed better than the last. I knew it had to plateau at some time, but for the present I was just riding the wave. But something began to bother me. I had not been exactly truthful about my age in my profile. My friends convinced me that it was a marketing exercise and that stretching the truth a bit was expected. I had not changed my age all that much, only three years. It was the principle of the thing. I had started out with a lie and I was concerned that it would end up blowing up in my face. I knew that I needed to tell him the truth, but I kept waiting for the right time to present itself.
He took me to a little club he liked for a drink one night. The waiter carded me, and from the gleam in his eye, I knew that my friend Maxwell had put him up to it. To play into the joke, I pulled out my license to show him and we all laughed when he pretended to scrutinize it really closely. Then Max asked if he could see my license, without thinking I handed it to him. He stood up and replied “You're 54!” I just sat there not knowing what to say. Then he just cracked up with laughter! When I asked, “What's so funny?” He said that he had lied about his age as well. When the smoke cleared it turns out that he was actually just two years older than me. We both laughed that we had each started out with a lie.
We had dated for six months or so. Then one night he called me at one o’clock in the morning, waking me from a wonderful dream. He needed to say something to me and it could not wait. He insisted on coming over immediately. I was on pins and needless for a half hour before he walked in the door, whereupon he said, “I need to tell you something that will not hold anymore!”
I grabbed a few kleenex from a box because I was sure this was going to be bad. Well I needed them, but in a good way. He got down on one knee, told me I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, that he had been waiting all of his life to find me, and asked me to marry him. After sobbing a few minutes from the shock of what had just transpired I answered, “Yes! Yes! I will marry you.”
I have been married to Maxwell now for three years. It has been the most wonderful period of my life. My former marriage does not compare to what I have with Max. The honeymoon never ends. And to think I found him on an online dating site. Someplace that I had thought of as a last chance place to meet someone!
I will not say that things between Max and me are always perfect. Sometimes they are even better than perfect if you can imagine such a thing. I will be perpetually grateful to the online dating industry, and in particular the specific site I joined for bringing Max into my life. If you have been loath to try Internet dating, you should give it a try. It is not all as rosy as I have depicted in my tale. I found that there were a lot of truly despicable characters on just about every site. But each site gives you tools that allow you to easily block them. When you block someone on a dating site, you cease to exist for them. They will never be able to find you in search results again. From their perspective, you no longer have an account on the site. I tell you that only because I have met a lot of women who stopped using dating sites because they ran into a few morons, and never spent any time learning how to deal with them. In any event, even with the negatives that you will find, I would recommend online dating to anyone.
Below I have posted a link to one of the resource sites that I used. The sites referenced there are some of the best and are well organized. There are so many to choose from you are sure to find what you want. Good luck in your search!
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