The Dangers Of Online Dating

The Killer May Have Been the Date from Hell!

Sonia Varaschin was killed because she just wanted to meet someone special online.

This situation is a devastating example of the risks underscoring any situation where you meet someone on the internet. Even though the killer left a trail of information on Sonia's computer, it was difficult for police to delve through. This is mainly do to the anonymous nature of dating sites, and the ability of stalkers to totally hide on totally free dating sites. In any event, none of this was any help to Sonia herself.

When someone chooses a site like plentyoffish, they are actually seriously increasing their risk of exposure to predators. Let me clarify that comment.
I am not singling our plentyoffish.com, because other free online dating sites like OKcupid.com fall in the same camp.  I will not try to list them all. Many sites walk the fine edge of maximum danger without actually realizing it.

The real concern here is that there is no traceability to individual people in a free dating model which inherently increases risk for all members. Here is why.

There are lots of weirdos out there. Some are just lacking social skills, but others are sociopaths. There is a very real chance that someone who appears to be nice in a chat room is not so wonderful in real life, and the most dangerous ones are very clever at hiding their anti-social behaviour. The most dangerous of course are homicidal stalkers. They will take your life without a second thought.

So why am I singling out the free communication dating sites? Well actually I am not!
This range of sites also includes facebook.com. Accepting friend requests from someone you do not know who is a friend of a friend is a very dangerous practice. If you friend is as sloppy as you are, you may find that you just befriended a stalker.

Social networking sites that require some form of payment before allowing communication are inherently safer. Because it is easy for police to follow the money on such sites, sexual predators stay clear of them.  On the other hand, it only takes them a small amount of time to set up a string of phony email account on yahoo ,then set up a bogus email account on gmail using the yahoo account as reference, then erase the yahoo account.  At that point you can now go into the gmail account and point the base email account to some fictitious email account on aol, and you have pretty much left a tough trail for police to track.  Smart stalkers use a trail for free emails spanning several countries and corporate entities, thus becoming more invisible.  With a fist full of untraceable email accounts your typical sexual predator can join free social networking sites to their heart's content.  Coupled with a disposable cell phone purchased in another city, and you have full communication with someone who has just created an untraceable identity.

So what can you do about it?
For starters, stay clear of free dating sites. They are not worth the risk.
These next tips are just common sense details:
1) Make sure you communicate online for a fair length of time before meeting in person. Keep all details about who you really are or where you live private until you know them better.
2) At some point use a disposable phone yourself, or else take advantage of an anonymous phone service, like MyPrivateLine.com, which offers a disposable number that lets you talk to strangers without revealing your phone number.
3) Before you commit your heart, make sure you are doing due diligence on this person. Be careful with what you say, and listen carefully to what is said. Consider recording the call so you can take notes after.  Look for changes in the lines that they string you. Ask for the same information a few different ways over the course of your initial acquaintance and make sure the answers are consistent. Inconsistent answers are all danger signals. Stalkers will often mix up the stories that they tell different women, and that is one of your best weapons in finding if they are genuine or bullshit.
4) Seek recent photos, and think of some way that you can verify that the photo is recent.
5) Make sure that they understand that you are just being careful. Honest people will not have a serious problem with it. The worst thing that can happen is that they take a walk if they think you are a bit nutso. You must also be willing to do the same. If you are not willing to give up your home town, then use a public library and use a paper from another city in your photo.
6) Meet at a café rather than a bar, meet in the day time, and keep it short. For added security tell your friends where you are and make sure that your date knows this as soon as they arrive.
7) Use your camera phone and MMS it to a few friends. Then tell them what you have done that. If they have a problem with you doing this, then get out yesterday!

Use your head before you lose your heart so you can keep both.

If you are still interested in paid online dating, check out the following link:

Online Dating Sites